Embrace forgiveness

 “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.” Matthew 6:14-15 MSG

Unforgiveness creates a cell that only we hold the key to.

A couple of years ago I was deeply hurt by a group of people that felt deeply hurt by me.  There was no closure, no way to understand what I had done to hurt them, no chance to make things right or express my sorrow for hurting them.  I felt as if I was given up on, told I was not worth the effort it would take to heal the relationship…

I had no idea how to process that.

It was hard enough to process my own pain but my children were very hurt and angry….I knew that in order to walk this out with grace, humility and kindness I had to TRULY forgive, I could not fake my way through this!

After a couple of weeks of shock and tears I took a day to walk and talk with God. I was so confused and wanted to understand. I begged GOD to show me what I had done wrong. Instead,  HE told me that it was done, I was forgiven and that HE was able to heal my heart.  With HIS help I began to first forgive myself for failing a group of people who I loved and then forgive them for rejecting me for that failure.

I am so thankful that I went through this. I have seen HIS fingerprints all over the last two years. I have learned so much!  I am supposed to be where I am and that I would not be here if this had not happened.

We ALL get hurt. we all make mistakes, we are all rejected by people that we have invested in. This is not a  unique situation. In fact I am willing to bet that you can think of someone right now that has hurt you…..

Are you ready to forgive them?

I know, I know, now I’m meddling.

but really,…

Is there a situation or relationship that takes up so much room in your heart and mind that there is little space for anything else?

Are you waiting for someone to apologize to you before you forgive them? please don’t. Please do not hand over the key to your freedom to someone who may never use it.

We have all been hurt deeply, there are people in our lives that will never DESERVE or even ask for forgiveness.

it does not matter.

this is your story, not theirs and this is YOUR journey, not theirs.

Forgiving someone does NOT mean that you are saying what they did was OK, it does NOT mean you will necessarily have a relationship with them, it does not mean you are letting them off the hook.

It does mean that you hand it over to God and let HIM take care of them.

It has been said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

STOP DRINKING THE POISON

let me share with you how I was able to do this.

I wrote a long letter to the people who hurt me, I told them everything I was feeling, how hurt and angry and helpless I felt. I poured out my heart, cried a bucket of tears onto that paper and then tore it into shreds….

then I burned it

I GAVE UP CONTROL OF THIS SITUATION.

Have you given anyone too much power in your heart? Is there someone who you need to give over to God? If so can I encourage you to write a letter expressing all the pain they caused you, grieve what they took from you, and then hand all that hurt over to GOD.

then, if you have time, listen to this amazing teaching by Andy Stanley

http://northpoint.org/messages/starting-point-series/nothing-but/

http://northpoint.org/messages/killin-it/remote-controlled/

3 thoughts on “Embrace forgiveness”

  1. I cannot BEGIN to tell you how powerfully these words hit home for me. I was rejected by an entire CHURCH which has gone to great lengths to tell me that i am outside of God’ grace and ineligible for His forgiveness. The pain is UNBEARABLE. After standing over the railing of an interstate overpass last summer in a gasoline soaked sweatshirt with a pack of matches in my hand, I was tackled by four LE officers who handcuffed me and took me to the hospital. After a week there, I realized that I HAD to move away from my home of 30 years. So I gave up my Christian radio job that I LOVED and moved 800 miles away to a town where I knew no one – and after six months, have two friends. I am SO SCARED to reach out. One church I visited was going to hook me up with Stephen Ministries but then backed down because I was suicidal and they felt it would be too much for the Stephen minister to carry (I had no intention of telling them). When I was back home six weeks ago for a tax appointment, I went to church, didn’t speak to anyone and sat down where I quietly was waiting for the service to begin. Two men that I did not know and who were no identified came up to me and told me I had to come with them. I resisted, telling them I was there to worship and would meet with them after the service. One of them left and returned with two police officers who said I was being trespassed from the property. I asked if I had done something wrong. “No”. I asked if they had ever done this before to anyone. “No” Then why me? “Because your presence here has caused a RIPPLE to go through the entire church.” The ripple was caused when I had a stroke and fell into a severe depression and my friends all abandoned me – two years ago. They would not meet with me ONCE. The pastors and elders refused to get involved, and instead of shepherding these women in showing grace, they treated the situation like a ‘little squabble among some women’ that they didn’t want to get involved in. I am SO BROKEN that I am fighting for my life. Having to go on SS disability because I cannot function (I cry all the time). Afraid to reach out. But the worst BY FAR is the message that I am unloved by God, and this Holy Week I am unable to bear the pain. I cannot imagine what I did that could not be forgiven, but like you, they refuse to talk to me and my friendship meant so little to them that they were unwilling to come and talk to me even one time. I covet your prayers and thank you for this post. Every post I have read of yours resonates DEEPLY with me but I miss so many of them. God knew I needed to see this one today. I was fighting to live.

  2. Nearly WORD for WORD the experience I recently had. I’m not quite to the point of being grateful it happened, but I am thankful for God’s ‘severe mercy’ in removing me from an unhealthy situation. I found it pretty easy to forgive them and see that no one had malicious intent. I actually did send letters and emails, giving them the benefit of the doubt and expressing my love for each of them and understanding of their individual side of things. I never received an apology for their misjudgments, gossip, and ill-treatment. However, I gave, and will give again if any bitter root comes up, all of it to God. He is the only One who can make something beautiful out of ashes.

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