I have found myself asking the question “am I enough” I lot lately.
was I enough for my kids?
Do I work enough?
Do I do enough ministry?
Do I cook healthy enough meals?
Do I save enough money?
Do I make my kids read enough?
Am I good enough?
Do you ever ask that question? do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try or how much you give up or how much time you give to others…. somehow it is never ENOUGH?!?!
If not, you can stop reading, and can I get your phone number?
My son got married last weekend. And I cried for weeks leading up to it! The entire time he was growing up I felt SO NOT ENOUGH! I never felt like I was a good mom. I felt like a miserable failure most days. We fought all the time, he made choices that scared me to death….but he also made some great choices. He is an elementary school teacher now, He has a wife that he loves very well, he has made his own path to faith in Jesus and I really like him.
I promise you I never felt like I was ENOUGH when he was growing up. But that led me to my knees. those mother prayers in the middle of the night, those anguished cries for my child, they were answered. All I did was stick in there, kept pursuing relationship with him, kept on believing in him even when he made stupid choices. I never stopped praying…and that has made all the difference.
t
the vs. I prayed over Luke every day,
I was right, I was not enough,
I AM NOT ENOUGH…but I know who is.
Us moms in the middle can be so very hard on ourselves! we look back and wish we had done things better, we long for a “do over”. Can we just give ourselves a break!
these days
Can we just ENJOY our children? Can we stop wishing for days gone by and start enjoying the days that are here? transition is so hard and letting go is even harder, I know, I’m right there with you! BUT I’m afraid we are missing the joys of today because of our regrets of yesterday.
WE MADE MISTAKES…CAN WE JUST GET OVER IT!
We miss those little faces that looked up to us as if we hung the moon. We long for little arms around our necks and kisses on our cheeks.. we must grieve those days…and theN we must move on so that we can enjoy today!
Our identity is not in who we raise. Our identity in is Christ. I have found that this stage of life has made me focus more and more on Jesus and on the identity HE has given me. I have time now to sit at HIS feet without little ones always under foot.
I think God wants us to know that its OK to not be enough…that HE is ENOUGH...AND THAT IS ENOUGH.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Oh my you hit home! I am single, at age 47 adopted sisters 10 & 13. Do you know how many times in the past 6 years I have asked myself if I was enough??? Should I have let a mom and dad adopt them? Someone that had more money? More time? I struggle with this all the time. Your blog helped . I pray all the time and know God has his plan. Thank you
Anne, I was walking with a friend of mine last week and was lamenting about the fact that I just do not feel up to the task of raising my youngest. she is so different from my other children and I feel like I fail her every day. She stopped and looked at me and said “think about where she would be if you had NOT adopted her” I had never really given that much thought. Your girls have someone who loves them to the moon and back! You have given them a mom, stability and prayer, which is more then they would have ever had without you. Im humbled that this blog helped. we are all way to hard on ourselves. I am saying a prayer that God will reassure that you are just what those girls needed and that you will know the HE is enough for all of you.
oh cyndi, my long lost twin–this is beautiful! thank you! and yes, you read between the lines and guessed on Dee’s blog–we are still prayerful about it but beginning to pursue China special needs adoption! blessings to you sweet sister~
Aaaaahhhh I’m so exited for you!!!! Can’t wait to talk more!