Summer 1998 I had given birth to my third child in 5 years. My oldest son had unending energy and I had 2 extra boys that I babysat so every day. Before quiet time i would pack the 2 year old in a stroller, wear the 4 month old and follow the 5 year olds around the neighborhood.
this is how I met Missy. She lived a block over and spent many hours on her porch swing trying to sooth her first child. she is quiet and private, I am busy and out there but we had one thing in common, we were both bored and lonely.
bored you say, with all those kids! yes, that busy bored, that mind numbing, so tired you can hardly stand up and so bored you think you might loose your mind if you do not have a conversation past “no you may not have another cookie, stop taking that toy from your sister, stop running, don’t do that,pick up your room, do you want a health snack, i don’t care of your not tired….”
Each day I would stay a little longer and chat as I would pass Missy’s house. her front porch was a bright light in my long days. this turned into watching trading spaces together every afternoon after nap time and as the kids grew and more were added and we all began to babysit we met our neighbor with a pool and spend countless hours sitting by it watching 8-12 kids swim all afternoon.
fast forward 10 years, we got a house with a pool so that we could host all the kids friends. I can not count the number of afternoons that my friends would come by with their kids and we would process our lives together as the boys tried to drown each other and the girls sun bathed and the littles went down the slide 100s of times. There was always ice tea or home made lemonade and those really cheap popsicles in plastic, pretzels in bulk or cookies that a friend brought over.
We had very little money, but we always had something to offer the many people and kids who came through our doors. Our home was never spotless and was always decorated in last years garage sale or last decades hand me downs. my cabinets had Bible vs taped on them that i had printed out on our printer with pictures of our family in the back ground and my family room’s “white” carpet was stained beyond recognition .
But all were welcome. In this world of pintrest and insta and snapchat and google I am afraid that young moms have this crazy idea that people come to their home to see how nice it is, to comment on that wonderful Hobby lobby find or that awesome new wood floor. They do not. and if they do you really don’t want them for your friend anyway.
Can I encourage you to use your device to invite a friend over this week, have tea or lemonade or coffee available, some place for the kids to play and just sit and visit. Be encouraging, share your struggles, be real and transparent and RELAX. Or make a meal or two together to take home so that you get to visit AND feed your family 🙂
But the biggest secret I will share with you when it comes to how to be hospitable, how to open your life and home and share life with others is…..
do it for your family first.
Have snacks and drinks available, have your home picked up and neat…not spotless, just kinda picked up and not filthy, DAILY. get in the habit of doing the dishes every day, picking up the toys a couple times every day. Do not live in a way that you would not feel comfortable inviting others into. The people who live under your roof are the ones you live a lifestyle of hospitality for. Do not wait to have friends over to brake out your best, Your best is for your husband and children. That way when others come into your home they feel the spirit of plenty and peace because you have created that for your family.
Guests should NEVER receive more than the ones who live in your home. They are your first priority. BUT when others enter your home and you have lived with this mindset they will feel welcome and loved, because you have created an atmosphere of comfort, plenty and love.
Hospitality is not about preparing your home for visitors, it is about creating a home that naturally welcomes all who come.
