Embrace transformation

Your were taught with regard to your former way of life, to PUT OFF YOUR OLD SELF,  which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires. to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to PUT ON the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.  Eph.4:22-23

Have you ever met someone for the first time and come away feeling like you met an actress playing a part and not a real person? Have you ever gone to work or church or a party and came away exhausted because you had just given an award winning performance?

It takes a lot of courage to let people see who we really are. It takes a lot of humility and vulnerability to become the person we were meant to be.

I learned something fascinating about the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. A caterpillar does not create a chrysalis, it exposes it. You have to watch this! its amazing! The caterpillar even starts out in a J shape!

The caterpillar has to do all the hard work of getting the old skin off, it has to surrender ALL of its old self COMPLETLY in order for the metamorphosis to begin! likewise, For our transformation to begin, we must be vulnerable and humble enough to shed our protective skin.

This makes me think of the scene in Voyage of the Dawn Treader when Eustace is a dragon and trying desperately to rid himself of the dragon skin. He  painfully gets the top few layers off but he is not able to get all the layers off, only  Aslan (Jesus) can remove the deepest ones.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InAukk4DuRw://

some layers are harder to get off than others, Jesus is there to help us in that walk. HE knows how hard it is to give up all you are in order to become all you are created to be. HE was GOD and became human, HE was a healthy 33-year-old and surrendered HIS earthy role in order to fulfil HIS heavenly one. He knows what it means to humble himself…HE suffered the cross!

It is PAINFUL to do this work! It does not feel natural to “Put off our old self” I think that is why churches are filled with caterpillars trying desperately to make their own wings. filled with advice on how to make the best wings, What colors to avoid, how to fashion them just right in order to fit in with the rest of the butterflies….

The problem is caterpillars can not fly, no matter how beautiful the wings. It breaks my heart to watch people strap these “wings” onto their backs, and then spend years feeling guilty because they can’t figure out how to fly.

I spent WAY to many years creating my own wings, and telling others how to make theirs better! Complete surrender for a control freak does not come easy. Here’s the thing, we  can never fly with wings we have created… no matter how good they look. In fact I have found that the better they look the harder they are to surrender.

There are still days when I walk around on my tiny butterfly feet because I forget that HE has given me wings. OH, but HE has! I am so thankful for the days when I feast on HIS nectar and enjoy a treetop view.

Some of us have to have our created wings torn off in order to begin the process of complete surrender, I did, I hope you do not. My prayer for you this week is that you will have the courage to lay down your own wings, have the courage to shed your caterpillar skin,  surrendering every cell of your being to the only one who can create a butterfly out of a caterpillar.

EMBRACE THE ADVENTURE

13 A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face;
    a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.
15 A miserable heart means a miserable life;
    a cheerful heart fills the day with song.
Prov. 15

Go to the zoo in the rain

The thing about the Zoo when it is 45 degrees and raining is that you are the only ones there to enjoy it. The choice to embrace the uncomfortable opens up a whole new experience that the comfort seekers never get to have.

Our zoo here in Toledo has a ton of wonderful inside exhibits too, A beautiful Aviary, a state of the art aquarium, a huge ape habitat,  a reptile house, a children’s science center and a polar bear/seal building just to name a few.

I recommend doing this with a group of good friends and LOTS of children. Life is better when shared in the rain.

COMFORTABLE IS OVER RATED…

Don’t get me wrong, I love sunshine and warm as much as the other guy, honesty probably more!….but if we are always waiting for the “perfect” moment to enjoy ourselves we  miss out on so much!

One of the highlights of my week is walking to Starbucks with Paul on sat. mornings before the kids get up (even if it is 20 deg. out) Many of our favorite dates are walks (sometimes in the cold and rain) and a simple take out dinner or game nights with friends and family.

20 min. in my rocking chair with a cup of coffee, my Bible and the company of the birds who come to visit our feeder can  bring me as much joy as sitting at the ocean with my feet in the sand……if I let it.

I hope you never have the opportunity to sit next to a friend in an oncologist office while her husband is being told he has a year to live, but if you do, take it.

I am pretty sure that doing hard things together is like glue to relationship. When we go through things that make us stronger next to another person something miraculous happens. The joke between my best friend and I is that in a span of almost 20 years we never saw each other where someone did not puke or go to the ER…..I am not kidding!

one of COUNTLESS zoo visits with Williams

This friend has taught me so much about living life EYES WIDE OPEN for the beauty in everyday moments. she started a “thankfulness instagram” in order to keep a record of 1000 things she was thankful for in the year 2017, so far she has posted over 1500 times on her #20181000gifts page. believe me when I tell you she has had a VERY challenging 3 years. If anyone has a right to be angry, bitter, sullen and EXHAUSTED it is her….

Another friend has the most contagious laugh! She lights up a room…this is AFTER losing her mom to cancer when she was pregnant with her first child,  and fighting cancer herself in her early 40s!

They have learned to dance in the rain rather than wait for the storm to pass,…..and that has made all the difference!

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 in the Message Bible  says “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.”

I don’t know where you are at in this process, you may be wonderful at enjoying the little moments. If so, would you share them with me on my https://www.facebook.com/facesofgrayce/ page? I would love to hear YOUR “dancing in the rain” story!

Embrace forgiveness

 “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.” Matthew 6:14-15 MSG

Unforgiveness creates a cell that only we hold the key to.

A couple of years ago I was deeply hurt by a group of people that felt deeply hurt by me.  There was no closure, no way to understand what I had done to hurt them, no chance to make things right or express my sorrow for hurting them.  I felt as if I was given up on, told I was not worth the effort it would take to heal the relationship…

I had no idea how to process that.

It was hard enough to process my own pain but my children were very hurt and angry….I knew that in order to walk this out with grace, humility and kindness I had to TRULY forgive, I could not fake my way through this!

After a couple of weeks of shock and tears I took a day to walk and talk with God. I was so confused and wanted to understand. I begged GOD to show me what I had done wrong. Instead,  HE told me that it was done, I was forgiven and that HE was able to heal my heart.  With HIS help I began to first forgive myself for failing a group of people who I loved and then forgive them for rejecting me for that failure.

I am so thankful that I went through this. I have seen HIS fingerprints all over the last two years. I have learned so much!  I am supposed to be where I am and that I would not be here if this had not happened.

We ALL get hurt. we all make mistakes, we are all rejected by people that we have invested in. This is not a  unique situation. In fact I am willing to bet that you can think of someone right now that has hurt you…..

Are you ready to forgive them?

I know, I know, now I’m meddling.

but really,…

Is there a situation or relationship that takes up so much room in your heart and mind that there is little space for anything else?

Are you waiting for someone to apologize to you before you forgive them? please don’t. Please do not hand over the key to your freedom to someone who may never use it.

We have all been hurt deeply, there are people in our lives that will never DESERVE or even ask for forgiveness.

it does not matter.

this is your story, not theirs and this is YOUR journey, not theirs.

Forgiving someone does NOT mean that you are saying what they did was OK, it does NOT mean you will necessarily have a relationship with them, it does not mean you are letting them off the hook.

It does mean that you hand it over to God and let HIM take care of them.

It has been said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

STOP DRINKING THE POISON

let me share with you how I was able to do this.

I wrote a long letter to the people who hurt me, I told them everything I was feeling, how hurt and angry and helpless I felt. I poured out my heart, cried a bucket of tears onto that paper and then tore it into shreds….

then I burned it

I GAVE UP CONTROL OF THIS SITUATION.

Have you given anyone too much power in your heart? Is there someone who you need to give over to God? If so can I encourage you to write a letter expressing all the pain they caused you, grieve what they took from you, and then hand all that hurt over to GOD.

then, if you have time, listen to this amazing teaching by Andy Stanley

http://northpoint.org/messages/starting-point-series/nothing-but/

http://northpoint.org/messages/killin-it/remote-controlled/

Sometimes we need a little help from our friends

A gentle answer turns away wrath,  but a harsh word stirs up anger. 

  Prov. 15:1

When I am busy and distracted I tend to lose my “gentle” and find my “harsh” It NEVER seems to fail  that kids are the neediest when I am the busiest….

The soothing tongue is a tree of life, Prov. 15:4a

I want to be a tree of life for my family, I long to have that soothing tone that makes everyone feel better and makes them want to BE better. But my “harsh” tends to win out way more than I care to admit.

I wonder how many times I have missed an opportunity to give life to my family because I was too busy to stop and LISTEN……to many.

It is only by the grace of God that I did not miss this one…..

The day that Emma and I had our three hour heart to heart (see last weeks blog) I had a long list of things that I wanted to do, not the least of which was go sit by the pool.  I REALLY wanted to sit out in the sun on this beautiful day and I was so looking forward to quality, fun time with my girls.

It was SO HARD to give that up in order to have a heart to heart with my angry 13 year old. I can not tell you how very much I wanted to just leave her home and go to the pool. I am so glad that this time (NOT even close to every time!) I chose to listen instead of discipline.

unfortunately, in my experience, when our children NEED our wisdom, guidance and unconditional love the most is when their behavior makes it the HARDEST to give!

Asking hard questions and waiting for honest answers is VERY time consuming and exhausting,  I had to wade through piles of anger, most of which was directed at me, before she was able to be honest.

eventually she was able to express her anger at her birth mom, her deep sadness over being adopted and her desire to show her mom that she was worth fighting for.  I let her talk about all the feelings and thoughts she was having. I gave her permission to feel all the feels….

and I just listened.

I used this opportunity to express to Emma how valuable she is to me, how thankful I am that she is my daughter, but mostly….

I  listened.

separating my self-worth from Emma’s feelings of loss is so hard for me! I want my love for her to be enough. I want it to fix everything. It is so hard for me to enter into her pain when all I want to do is run from it, deny it.

There are going to be seasons in our children’s lives when they are angry, hurting, and hard to like.  It is our job as parents to love them anyway!  WE are  called to love them even when they do not believe in that love. This is so hard!

sometimes we need help!

And that is OK

If you are feeling more and more defeated every day, please let me encourage you to call in reinforcements. We ALL need help from time to time!  One of my dearest friends is a child and family counselor. the advice that she has given me over the years has been invaluable! She has listened  to me, encouraged me, directed me and prayed over me more times than I can count.

We have also sought the help of a psychologist, teachers, youth group leaders, friends, coaches, grandparents and even older siblings. Hand pick people to be your tribe and then be willing to ask them for help.

Being heard has helped me to listen.

If you have a chance please listen to this series. It is directed towards married couples but it can be applied to parenting in a beautiful way.

http://http://northpointministries.org/messages/what-happy-couples-know/sometimes-you-have-to-throw-things/

I found this TED talk very interesting, thought you might too 🙂

Pay attention to the space.

Believe the best

Fill the Space with Grace

 When  someone disappoints me it is usually because there is a gap between what I expect them to do and what they actually do.

What I place in that gap has the power to either fill my relationships with bitterness and anger or trust and grace.

here’s the thing, I have the power to CHOOSE which ear to listen to. I get to choose to feed the negative voice or the grace filled voice. it is MY choice. it is your choice too!  You can believe the best or assume the worst.

My husband has about 127 words a day and most days he uses them up on those pesky people at work. By the time he walks into our home and sits down for dinner his conversation bank is at ZERO.

For YEARS this made me hoppin mad. My expectation was that “good christian dads” led their family in devotions after dinner. “good husbands” asked about your day at dinner. He did not do these things and I created a narrative in my head that went something like this……”he could care less how our day went”, “he does not want to be our spiritual leader”, “if he really loved me he would figure out a way to communicate it better.”

YUCK!!! YUCK!!! YUCK!!

some things speak louder than words

I am so ashamed to tell you that my need to be right, my pride, let this go on for YEARS.  After one of our “you don’t care about my needs or our family” arguments I saw in Paul’s eyes a look of total defeat and despair that I will never forget.

The truth was that he WANTED to fulfill my expectations….he lacked the emotional, social or physical resources to do it.

I had a choice, I  could continue to demand something that he was just not able to give, believing that he could if he wanted to, he just did not love me enough to try. Or I could believe him when he said “I want to please you, I just don’t know how”

I chose to believe the best. and that has made all the difference.

It did not take away my desire for him to talk more, he knows I need words and he gets better all the time at talking even when it is hard.  Believing the best did not take away his responsablity to meet my need for conversation but it did take away the pressure of having to perform in order to be accepted.

please understand me, I am not asking you to be blind and pretend. Some issues need to be addressed and change needs to happen.  What I am asking you to do is to believe the best until you have no choice but to believe the worst.

1 Corinthians 13:7 tells us that

Love ALWAYS

PROTECTS (looks for a way to keep love alive)

TRUSTS (looks for a generous explanation)

HOPES (refuses to give up hope until proven otherwise)

PERSEVERES (always looks for the good)

the first day that Paul was able to hold Emma

Choosing to believe the best in people has the power to transform every relationship in life. It has even impacted the way I process the actions of those I have never met.

Last week I shared with you some of Emma’s story, how she was struggling to forgive her birth mom. She had created a narrative in her head that went something like this. “My birth mom did not want me, she threw me away, she was not strong or brave enough to do the right thing which was to keep me.”

The truth is we will never really know what happened. What we were told is that Emma was dying from an infection when she was lovingly wrapped up in a blanket and placed in a basket on the steps of a medical orphanage (not in a crowded marked which would have been much safer for her parents).

I fill the gap with grace.

I choose to believe that Emma’s birth mom had two choices, she could hold her sweet daughter in her arms until she died, or she could give her up and give her a chance to live.  I am angry at a system that made her make that horrible choice, but I love her dearly for making it.

I was able to tell Emma that her birth mom gave me the most wonderful gift I have ever received and I will forever love her for it.

We can choose to do this in so many areas of our lives!

Until we are given no choice but to fill that gap with a hurtful truth we have a choice to fill it with grace.

if you have time please watch this lesson by Andy Stanley,  It was a game changer for Paul and I.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8qwIgZVi6o

Shine a light on it!

“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it” John 1:5

Emma’s 13th summer was hard.  Between the typical 13 year old girl drama, Attachment issues and ADHD she was rough and this mama was STRUGGLING!!  I felt I could do nothing right. She was very angry and most of that anger was directed at me. One day, after yet another shouting match, I calmed down enough to begin to see that there was something else going on. She was really hurting and I had been so frustrated and focused on the behavior that I did not see it.

I sat her down and began to ask heart questions. At first she blamed all her feelings and  behavior on me, on her brother moving away, on being bored….the list went on. But I knew in my spirit that there was something much deeper going on, so I continued to pry and pray for THREE HOURS. Finally she burst into tears and screamed that she hated her birth mom for giving her up.  OK now we were getting somewhere. She lamented that her birth mom gave her up because she was not valuable enough to fight for.

Adoption is beautiful….all the loss that happens before adoption is brutal!

Because Emma had stuffed and not expressed all she was feeling those feelings had festered and become unbelievably destructive!  She became stuck in a vortex of anger and bitterness because she believed that she was not worth fighting for.

Here’s the thing, we can only heal from what is TRUE. As long as she believed that she was not worthy of saving she was going to be stuck. I am so glad she was brave enough to express what she was feeling! When she was honest  and open with her feelings I was able to shine the truth into her sweet little heart. sharing how she felt made it possible for her to exchange the lie of “I am not worth enough to fight for” with “I am sad that my birth mom did not keep me” And this allowed the healing to begin.

The truth is, Jesus deemed her so valuable that HE died for her and WE deemed her so valuable that we traveled around the world to rescue her.

What a privilege it is to walk with Emma through the process of forgiving her birth mom, to give her a safe place to be sad and mad and confused. As I validate her feelings, because feelings are never wrong, she is able to process and emote in a healing, healthy way….

She could not feel loved by the family she has until she grieved the family she lost. And she could not enter into her sadness until she let go of the anger. She could not grieve until she forgave.

Of course this is a life long walk. The wounds are no longer hidden infections threatening to turn septic an any moment. They have begun to heal, but they are still very sore. They have grown scabs that some days she is tempted to pick at.  As her mom I have the privilege of treating them with the salve of unconditional love. I point her to the one who heals and trust that one day, with HIS, help only scars will remain……there will always be the scars.

But they will be reminders, not definers.

I pray that they will remind her of how much she is loved, that they will remind her that she was worth fighting for and that they will remind her that her past does not define her future.

I will share more about the power of filling the gap with grace next week . For now just let me share that filling the gap of what we know about Emma’s birth mom and what we do not know with the kindest explanation has made all the difference.

 

parenting with humor and humility, life hacks for parents of toddlers – teens and beyond

a different perspective

Parenting with a sense of humor is a lot easier said than done! We all have seasons in life where we  just wanted to escape? Maybe you are there now.

here are a few tips to help you survive those  seasons of grief, uncertainty, frustration, loneliness and exhaustion…. whether you are waiting for the kids to grow up or wishing that they had not.

Here is my “life hack” for those times that we just can not wait to get out of.

are you ready? this is really important and complicated….

embrace the life you have, attack it, do your very best at it and become your best self while you are IN it.

Because this season will pass

but the choices we make in this seasons will last a life time.

I LOVE being a mom, it is my favorite thing in my life.

I adore my kiddos.

BUT I HATED TODDLERHOOD

it was EXHAUSTING then...
its funny now….

when my kids were at that stage between learning to walk and 4 I wanted to run away. I HATED everything about it…I called it the boring busy stage.

but I want another cookie NOW

do not feel too sorry for her, she wanted yet another cookie and we said no.

These were the hardest 10 years of my life…and probably the most productive……But let me tell you

I DID NOT ENJOY IT.

And that is OK.

laundry room and beyond
the laundry WAS folded

sure she looks cute…but that laundry basket had been full of FOLDED CLEAN CLOTHES….

toddler and football photo idea
not my best photo idea

seconds later he threw the ball at the photographer

We do not have to enjoy something to choose to do it well!

I was 23 when I started this stage and I was a prideful, impatient, controlling young woman. I  begged HIM to help me get through every long, hard day!  I fell on my knees in total dependence oh HIM because I knew only HE could equip me to raise my children well despite my sinful nature. I am so very thankful that HE met me right where I was and graciously began to fill me with HIS spirit and the fruit that comes with it. As I BEGGED HIM to help me to raise children who loved HIM and others well HE changed me into the mom they needed.

I wonder if when Moses was wandering through the desert with the Israelites if he felt anything like I felt when I was raising toddlers. I have a feeling that like me, he knew he could not do what was being asked of him, but that GOD living in him could.

Moses chose to OBEY GOD even when it was hard.

He chose to trust when he did not understand.

WE live in a culture that worships comfort and happiness. We try to escape uncomfortable as quickly as possible. BUT what if uncomfortable is the soil that is needed for the fruits of HIS spirit to grow….

what if Love, joy, peace, faithfulness, kindness, goodness, gentleness, patience and self-control grow best in the soil of uncomfortable.

what if our life is more about becoming a vessel that HE can use than it is about us being happy and comfortable?

 

 

 

This is me

I think GOD delights in using our broken best.

But don’t take my word for it, 

JESUS said

“My power is made perfect in weakness”

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

As I prayed about what I wanted to share with you this week My daughter posted this to  facebook.

🎶This is me🎶 this song has a lot of meaning for me. This song is for outcasts those who feel like they don’t fit in with the rest of the world because they are physically or mentally different. Those who have been torn apart by others because they don’t accept those who are different. It’s hard living in a world that looks down on you because you’re different but this song is definitely inspiring for me. It doesn’t matter if you’re different because that doesn’t define you. It’s hard to have a physical disability that will be with me for the rest of my life but I’ve learned that you have to embrace it and make the most of it. Yes sometimes I do get upset because of the struggle and frustrations that I face on a daily basis but I just have to remind myself that my disability will never define me and that there must be a reason God chose to give me a diabilty. Don’t change yourself for the world. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Don’t let others tare you apart. Be You!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLFEvHWD_NE

Lily HATES attention. she hates being stared at , she hates needing help, she hates being on stage, she HATES being different.  She is an introvert and a perfectionist so having a limb difference that makes you stand out every moment of every day is so very hard for her. This post is JESUS in her. Only HE can bring this kind of healing. And HE can only heal what has been placed in HIS hands.

When I began to home school 20 years ago I used books to teach. I read hundreds of books to my kids every month, This practice made me more and more comfortable with reading.

We read about a different missionary or follower of Jesus every week. What stood out to me in every one of these stories is that GOD delights in using people on whom the world has given up.

Ben Carson grew up in a neighborhood where most young men ended up dead or in jail….He became a renown surgeon and is now the secretary of housing.

Gladys Aylward was told that she was not “fit for missionary work” by the Chinese inland mission. She worked as a maid for 3 years to save up enough money for one way train ticket to China.  Once in China she helped make life better for thousands of prisoners and saved hundreds of orphans.

Elisabeth Elliot became a young widow and single mom after only 3 years on the mission field. She went back to the people who had murdered her husband with a toddler on her hip and led them to faith in Jesus.

If you would like to read more I recommend the series “Hero Tales”

http://www.daveneta.com/

Before she wrote 1000 gifts Ann Voskamp was so paralysed by fear that she had a hard time leaving her home. If you have not met Ann here is a link to her website, I highly recommend that you get to know her grace filled, broken self.

http://annvoskamp.com/

Here’s the thing. None of us likes to be broken. None of us want to admit that we need help,. Most of us hate that there are things in our lives that we just can not fix….. so we hide our broken behind our strengths. We work really hard at getting better and better at what we are already good at so that no one will notice our broken parts….But

I think GOD likes our broken best…

when HE uses the broken it is clear that it is HIM and not us.

I know that I tend to forget to give HIM all the credit when I am working in my strengths.

then your hearts will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God……Deuteronomy 8:14

Dear friend, I wonder if there might be something in your life that maybe our heavenly FATHER wants you to give HIM so that HE can show off!

HE is such a master at creating

BEAUTIFUL BROKEN

If you have time please listen to this great teaching by Andy Stanley

http://northpoint.org/messages/five-things-god-uses-to-grow-your-faith/personal-ministry/

 

LET IT GO

A year and a half ago I began to create space in every part of my life.  We downsized from a 5 bedroom home to a three bedroom condo, from 5 kids at home to just 2 and I stopped the crazy pace that I had set for myself for the last 25 years.  I got really intentional about what to keep and what to let go of.  I spent the better part of a year sorting , giving, and throwing away all the stuff….and I mean ALL THE STUFF.

And as I did, I let all the feelings that came with every little shoe, pink dress, piece of art, book, paper and toy come to the surface. I didn’t try to hold it in, I let myself cry over each memory, I gave myself permission to grieve every lost opportunity, every missed snuggle and bedtime story and then…

I LET IT GO

I thanked Jesus for all he has given me, for all the time he let me spend with my kids as they grew up, I asked  HIM to forgive me for ALL my failures, cried a bucket of tears and then….

I LET GO.

I let go so that I could embrace this season….

the season of  #1 and #2 walking down the aisle and giving their hearts, their lives, their time to another.

precious #3 getting a place of her own and entering into all adulthood has to offer her.

The season of walking along side fiercely independent #4 as she struggles to accept that she can not do everything that others can. The season of helping her enter in to her grief as she heals from all the trauma from her past. the season of working together to figure out what amazing things GOD has for her in her future.The season of walking alongside #5 as she tries to figure out who she is,  The heartbreaking season of helping her struggle with the rejection she feels from her birth mom…..helping her begin to grieve that loss so that she can go into her future a healthy, healed young woman. The season of witnessing Each good choice she makes for herself. The season that brings her closer to becoming the young woman God created her to be…..

Embracing the season that holds the hard work of helping them both to not need me anymore…..the season of helping them see that God can meet their needs way better than I ever could.

But for me to be able to embrace THIS season I had to let go of a season that I loved.

 I had to learn not to fill up my FUTURE with all the stuff from my PAST so that there could be room for my NOW.

 I had to accept that my plan was not HIS plan. I gave myself permission to grieve the future i thought I was going to have in order to embrace the one I DO have.

This was  very emotional work but it was also very practical work. I can not express to you how important  it was for me to get rid of everything I did not need,  to let myself only keep what I loved.

My closet now holds only what fits me and makes me happy.. this meant I had to let go of my old body and accept the one I now have.   I have  extra space in my cupboards, both cars fit in the garage, we let go of everything that we did not use.  We also have more TIME because we stopped doing things just because we felt we OUGHT.  we get to have game nights and read books and hang out with friends and go for walks, because we know how fleeting these years with our kids are!  For the first time in our lives we have resources to bless others in the way we want to, to save and even to travel a bit.

Whether your past is full of blessing or hardships, or like most of us, a lot of both, don’t get stuck there. The past is a place to learn from, it is our best teacher. So, let it teach you what it was meant to teach you and then

LET IT GO

So that your future can be all it was meant to be.

It is so easy to get stuck.stuck in a season, stuck in hurt or anger or regret

TODAY is hard enough without weighing ourselves down with our yesterdays.

so would you let me encourage you today

whether you are letting go of that newborn and chasing the toddler or putting your kindergartener on a bus for the first time or watching your newly graduated senior drive off to college or walking them down the aisle or watching them become parents or watching your grandchildren do these things…. spend some time letting go of what WAS

so that you are free to enjoy what IS.

space for silence

For most of my life I filled EVERY waking moment  (and sometimes sleeping moment) with sound. Christian talk shows, pod casts, tv. baseball games, books on tape….you name it.  sometimes it was just background noise and sometimes I paid very close attention  in order to  drown out my inner voice. it stopped me from thinking too much or feeling all the feels….

I USED NOISE TO NUMB

which is why  I found it so important to make
SPACE IN MY LIFE FOR
SILENCE

God has worked wonders in my heart in the silences.

But at first it was PAINFUL!

I would stare out the window waiting for GOD to talk to me…some times I would sit there for like 5 whole minutes!!!!! HE apparently had nothing to say to me so I opened up my devotional and started reading, pray, journal and get on with my day.

I am still not a sit still in silence kind of girl….

But what I have found is that when I am painting a room or making dinner or cleaning or driving or doing any of the mindless things us moms have to do in a day I don’t turn on the radio or TV.

I just listen

for HIS still small voice

When I can, I go for a walk in HIS creation.

sometimes I do not like what I hear! God will bring to mind something I said to my husband or child that I need to apologize for or he will convict me of some other sin that needs attention

sometimes I will start to think about a hurt or a loss and REALLY want to turn ANYTHING on so that I do not have to go there. but I find when I do let myself “go there” HE is there too, ready to comfort and heal.

Sometimes God will tell me to call one of my kids,  I will just get a feeling that someone is struggling and needs to talk.

But mostly

When I slow down enough to hear HIM what I hear the loudest is

I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE PRECIOUS, I AM CRAZY ABOUT YOU, YOU ARE ENOUGH, DON’T WORRY

This is how I have learned to discern the difference between HIS voice and my own….. God may convict  me but HE NEVER shames me. HE may correct me and discipline me, but HE NEVER belittles me.

How I want you to hear that voice! How I want for you to know how very loved you are. So, if I may, let me encourage you to find

space in your life for silence.

Space in which your heavenly FATHER can come in, wrap HIS arms around you and tell you how crazy HE is about you.

I’m pretty sure you will be glad you did 🙂

my sister named this the theme song for this blog….enjpy!